017. How To Be Your Own Advocate During Labor
- Jessica Smith
- Mar 13
- 6 min read
Advocating for yourself during labor is one of the most powerful things you can do to ensure a birth experience that aligns with your values, preferences, and instincts. Yet, many parents walk into labor feeling unsure about how to voice their needs, navigate medical recommendations, or push back when something doesn’t feel right.
The good news? Advocacy is a skill you can learn—and it starts before labor even begins. From knowing your rights to communicating with confidence, this guide will walk you through the essential steps to becoming your own best advocate in birth. Because here’s the truth: you were made for this, and your voice matters.
👉 Need extra support? As a doula and childbirth educator, I help parents feel empowered and prepared for birth. Learn more about working with me here.
1. Knowing Your Rights & Making Informed Choices
One of the biggest barriers to advocating for yourself in labor is not knowing what your rights actually are. Many parents assume they have to follow every recommendation without question, but that’s simply not true. You always have a say. Here are some fundamental rights to keep in mind:
You have the right to informed consent – No procedure should be done without your knowledge and agreement. Ask questions, get explanations, and take your time deciding.
You have the right to refuse interventions – You are not obligated to accept interventions unless you agree they are necessary. Just because something is standard protocol doesn’t mean it’s required. If it doesn’t feel right, you can decline.
You have the right to ask for alternatives – There is rarely only one way to handle a situation in labor. Exploring options gives you more control over your experience.
Understanding these rights helps you step into labor feeling confident and prepared to make decisions that align with your birth goals.
📖 Related Read: Home Birth vs. Hospital Birth: Which Option is Best for You?
📖 Related Read: What is the Difference Between a Doula and a Midwife?
2. Building Your Birth Dream Team
Advocacy doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. The people surrounding you during labor can make all the difference in how supported and empowered you feel. Choosing your birth team isn’t just about credentials—it’s about trust, communication, and shared values.
Your care partner/provider: Choosing an aligned provider can shape your experience - how you're treated, the options you're given, and ultimately, how supported you feel every step of the way. Select one who respects your birth philosophy, listens to you, and supports your choices - even when they differ from their personal preferences. You deserve a provider who treats you as an active participant in your care.
Your doula: If you haven't already, consider hiring a doula. They provide emotional, physical, and informational support and can help you navigate medical discussions. Unlike medical staff who come and go, a doula stays by your side, helping you navigate decisions and ensuring your voice is heard.
Your partner or support person: Prepare them to understand your birth plan, your preferences, and how to step in if needed. Share your expectations with them (and the rest of your team) ahead of time so everyone is on the same page.
3. Trusting Your Instincts & Inner Wisdom
Your body is designed to give birth, and your instincts are powerful. Yet, in today’s medicalized birth culture (even at home, sometimes), many women have been conditioned to second-guess their intuition. But in a hospital setting (and even at home), it’s easy to second-guess yourself.
I want to remind you of this truth: you know more than you think you do.
During labor, tuning in to your body’s signals can make a huge difference. If a position doesn’t feel right, change it. If an intervention feels unnecessary, ask questions. If something in your gut tells you to pause before making a decision, listen to that inner voice.
Faith, prayer, and mindfulness can also be powerful tools in staying grounded. Whether you are repeating affirmations or scripture, focusing on your breath, praying, or having someone pray over you, staying connected to the One who brings you peace can help you move through labor with confidence. Lean on God's strength and remember that you are never alone—He is with you, guiding and sustaining you every step of the way.
4. How to Advocate for Yourself During Labor: Speaking Up with Confidence
Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive—it means being clear, direct, and unwavering about what matters to you. But in the intensity of labor, it can be hard to find the right words. That’s why preparation is key.
Practice simple, firm phrases that you or your support person can use if needed:
“I’d like more time to think about that.”
“I’d like to explore other options.”
“I do not consent to that procedure.”
Using the B.R.A.I.N. method can also help when making decisions:
Benefits – What are the benefits?
Risks – What are the risks?
Alternatives – Are there other options?
Intuition – What does my gut say?
Nothing – What happens if we wait or do nothing?
The more you practice, the more natural it will feel to advocate for yourself when it matters most.
✨ Feeling overwhelmed about advocating for yourself in labor? You don’t have to figure this out alone. As a doula, I help parents feel confident, informed, and supported every step of the way. Let’s chat!
5. Emotional & Spiritual Strength in Labor
Birth isn’t just a physical process—it’s deeply emotional and spiritual. Strengthening your mindset is just as important as knowing your rights. When fear or doubt creeps in, having strategies to stay grounded can make all the difference.
Lean on faith and affirmations – Whether it’s scripture, prayer, or positive birth affirmations, anchoring yourself in truth can keep your mindset strong.
Surround yourself with encouragement and support – Choose a birth team that uplifts and reassures you rather than filling you with doubt or fear. Whether it’s your partner, doula, or someone else, having the right people around you makes a difference.
Surrender to the process – Birth requires both strength and surrender. Trust your body, trust your baby, and trust that you were made for this.
6. Holistic Pain Relief & Comfort Techniques
Advocating for yourself also means knowing what pain relief methods work best for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to comfort in labor, but having a variety of tools at your disposal can help you manage sensations and cope with the intensity.
Movement, breathwork, water therapy, and counterpressure are all powerful, evidence-based methods for easing labor intensity.
By incorporating these techniques, you can advocate for a birth experience that aligns with your body’s needs.
7. Navigating the Unexpected with Strength
Even with the best plans, birth is just unpredictable. The key is to stay informed AND flexible while still advocating for your needs:
If plans change, pause before deciding – Take a breath, use the B.R.A.I.N. method, and ask for more time if needed.
Keep your core birth values in mind – Even if things don’t go as planned, there are still ways to maintain autonomy and emotional well-being. You can rquest alternatives to standard procedures and still advocate for your overall birth goals, even if some details change.
Know that advocacy doesn’t stop postpartum – Make sure you have support and a plan for postpartum healing and care.
📖 Related Read: The Truth About Pregnancy And Home Birth: Debunking Common Myths
8. Owning Your Birth Experience
You deserve a birth experience where you feel heard, respected, and in control. By educating yourself, building a strong support system, and trusting your instincts, you can walk into labor with confidence.
💛 Book a free consultation to learn how doula support can help you feel prepared and confident in labor.👉 Schedule a chat here!
Comments